so i got laid off
tags: joblessIt’s a weird feeling having 7am roll around and having no reason to drag myself out of bed. I guess it is kind of nice, but there’s also this feeling looming that I am doomed. Doomed to be jobless forever. Doomed to be stuck on the EI waiting period forever. Doomed to lose my home and starve.
But maybe I should look at this more positively. This gives me a ton of time to focus on things that make me happy – crochet, cross stitch, photography, reading, writing, video games, gardening, paddle boarding, etc – and things that I want to do to better myself – learn French, start a business, practice self love, go on a diet, go to the gym, etc.
I also hated the job I was fired from. I was miserable there, and I was starting to get so burnt out. They were setting me up to fail, and I started thinking it was my fault that things weren’t getting done. But when you are the sole marketing person responsible for a portfolio of 15+ hotels in 2 provinces, of course you aren’t going to be able to do everything up to your own standards. I was so disappointed that the work I was doing was being ripped away from me, but also somehow so relieved that it was over.
But now, as I sit on the couch in the apartment I share with my partner, with him to my right at the kitchen table working from home, I can’t help but feel guilty. I know that he wants to support me through this and I am so grateful that he is willing, but I hate the feeling of having to be supported. This isn’t the first time I have had to be on EI, in fact right before I got this job I was on it for 4 weeks.
I have to go pick up my final check today and I am not looking forward to it. I feel embarrassed going there, seeing people that weren’t fired. It’s going to suck, but I gotta put my big girl panties on and get ‘er done.
Bye for now.